August 22nd, 2013.
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Long time no talk to you!
Well, Im super sleepy now but I have to let out my feelings. ALL of them. Because its driving me crazy.
New school was tough. I get lost nearly everyday. I felt like I dont belong there. Like I dont know what am I going to do next. I dont have a best friend who I can chat like I already know them for nearly 8 years like what I have from my old school.
All of the kids there is different.
The pros is, they’re REALLY nice. They’re really flexible. Like I mean, we’ve never met each other. We’ve never talked, but when I sat next to them, they smiled and shook my hand and asked what’s my name and then we will just chat. Awkward chat. But still.
But the negatives are….. um. I dont know how to say this, it may sound crazy, Allie. But I really have to say this:
My classmates haunts me.
I feel like they’re on my mind all the time. From the boys ive never talked to until girls that is already have a gang.
Believe me, every time I tried to picture me in a most beautiful way meeting Niall Horan, I automatically thought of one of the boys from my class.
Its crazy, right! Ugh. Ive never even say a word to them. And I nearly get mixed up because there are two Nicks and three Dave and two Keenans. Seriously. Its ODD.
Anyways, not gonna talk about that anymore. Its crazy. I dont want to talk about it. But I have to. But I dont want to. Ugh.
Anyways, about the school again. Im flying back to where I said “i felt like I dont belong here”. Well, you see, for the very first time ever, I missed my school. My old school.
I dont miss the people, because I totally think 50% of them is a fucking ”classy” snotty rich bitches. But I miss the place. The place where I dont get lost. The place where I could say “Oh hey, i’m hannah. i’m an inside person. i know everything here and all of you is new bye”.
But, I dont want to give up.
I know now I sounded like some heroes whenever they were about to give up. But, seriously, I had to proof some people that I AM NOT GOING BACK. I AM MOVING FORWARD. And this is my choice, no matter how hard it is, it’s still my choice.
I DECIDED THIS TO HAPPEN.
I dont want people to say, “I told you, its hard” at my face. If it has to be hard, let it be hard. Because that’s how I want it to be.
Well, I wasnt expecting the hardest part of all.
Oh, i havent told you. The hardest part of all that I was talking about is…
I wish I could tell you about how I cried so hard that night I was going to go on vacation and how I virtually met this girl named Samantha on twitter.
But, I just.. Ugh. Later. I promised. I will tell you later. Because now Im very sleepy.
Thanks for listening anyway.
Hannah the stubborn giraffe. xoxx